Monday, February 2, 2015

KC Sprints is retiring!

KC Sprints is retiring?!?!??

Yes you read that right.


As in we are done. Finished. No more. Stick a fork in us or whatever....
It time to hang up the sprint bikes for more than just the summer.



Why has this happened?
There is no doubt that you will lay awake at night wondering.
Don't blame yourself.
The end has been coming for sometime now.
It was obvious if you were looking.

Zeke hooked up with a pretty girl from Iowa and she dragged him away from KC to be with her.
Jevon recently got engaged (Wow! Really??)
And Jones is having a baby..... wait... WTF?!??
Jones is having a baby?!!??
Yes, things have really gotten that weird.

Doesn't help that putting on the race takes a lot more time and effort than it appears and although somewhat rewarding, we just don't have the motivation or time to deal with it anymore.

We'd say we're sorry but we aren't. We are excited to be done.
The KC Sprints shit show has been rolling along for 7 years now and quite frankly....
we're tired of it.
So.... #fuckthisshit

But don't you worry.
You still have one finial chance to shine in KC Sprints Goldspints glory (AKA Use the Bucket)

When? When is my chance... (we can feel you asking your computer screen)

On the greatest (cough cough... worst) Hallmark holiday of the year...

Valentine's Day!

Hookers and Crack

That is right!
February 14th at the Buzzard Beach!
Bring your Valentine to our last shabang! They will either thank you or leave you.

February 14th. Time to retire.

Its been 7 years so by now you should know the drill.
But if for some reason you don't.... well just add yourself to the reasons why we are done.
OR... you could just hop on over to our Book of Faces event page and get the skinny.

Being our last Goldsprints style KC Sprints event it goes without saying that the last 7 years wouldn't have been possible without the support of some great sponsors:

Twin Six
Eighth Inch
Portland Design Works
Rothra Cycling
Midwest Cyclery
Volker Bikes
All Hail the Black Market

Thanks again for 7 years of fun.
Hope to see you on the 14th!
You know you wanna be there.
Kim would want it that way.

Kim wants you at the KC Sprints Retirement race.
<>br />

Monday, September 23, 2013

Pub N Pedal 7 recap

Once again I have an empty spot in my life now that PNP 7 has gone and past. Here is you final count for the evening

24 teams
78 official riders (not including those who showed up at the end of the race)
$411 donated to 816 Collective
40 shirts sold
2 kegs drained
unknown lbs of pork butt consumed
1 drunk guy with a megaphone
0 emergency room visits

Very successful evening of wobbly shenanigans had by all. Thank you and congratulations to all riders (that last stat is one I was worried about) 

Here are the team recaps (I apologize for misspelling your name, Zeek's handwriting sucks)

1st Place
Big Butt Lovers: Andrea / Sam / Gabe / Deuser
125 pts + $253 donation points = 378 total points

2nd Place
Dirty Rice: Pablo / Shara / Chris / John
123 pts + $52 donation points = 175 total points

3rd Place
Scalywags: Jacob / Todd / Brandon
130 pts

4th Place
Marmadukes: Patrick / Rachel / Felica
80 pts + $45 donation points = 125 total points

5th Place
Plum Heads: Justin / Tom / Melissa / Jessica
75 pts + 40 donation points = $115

6th Place
Low Rent Dog Fuckers: FC / Nate / Jevon / Paul
50 pts + $47 donation points = 97 total points


Here are the rest of the teams stats

Bend Over: 85 pts
Third Wheels: 76 pts
Manicorns: 75 pts
Team Michael: 60 pts
#TeamFratBoy: 48 pts
Crash Monkeys: 40 pts
Vulva Bikers: 40 pts
Primary Warriors: 30pts
Doris: 25 pts
Penis Grabbing Penis Grabbers: 25 pts
Pedalphile: 20 pts
Porn Devils: 9 pts
Proud as a Peacock: 5pts
Two Wheeled Connection: DNF
Roll It Solo: DNF
Slow Spokes: DNF
Clark Kents: DNF
Blaverchuck: DNF

Maybe I spoke too soon about the emergency room visits. Someone check on all the DNF teams and make sure they're alright. Anyway.....

Here's some photos:

Thanks again everybody who came out and all of our wonderful sponsors (I would kiss them all if distance and restraining orders were not a thing)

Boulevard Brewery
Buzzard Beach
KC Beard & Mustache Club
Twin 6
Urban Velo
Paul Nunes
Eighth Inch
The Pitch

Looking forward to seeing you all out for year 8.

Cheers from the KC Sprints crew
uNKy jOIns, OE ZEEK, Kc Jev jEv

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Saturday is the Day!

This Saturday! Pub N Pedal 7! Join us for the best bicycle pub crawl/scavenger hunt/"race" in Kansas City. See for details. Oh... and it's FREE to play!

Got your bike ready?
Got your photo taking device?
Got a team*?
Got a few hours to spare on Saturday night to ride bikes around KC, hustling from bar to bar taking pictures of crazy shit**?
We hope so because Saturday night it all goes dowwwwn....
Pub N Pedal 7 
Kansas City's BEST bicycle pub crawl/photo scavenger hunt/"race"/drunkn shit show***
Lets do this!

*No team? No problem. Just show up. We'll find others like you and make a team. Savvy?
**Photos of actual shit may get you bonus points OR it may just make us shake our heads at you wondering what your problem is. 
***No drinking is required during PnP. However, all the stops are in drinking establishment therefore you should be of drinking age to participate or bring a legal parent or guardian (yeah dude, bring your mom. Jones is.)

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Something new for Pub N Pedal

We ride bikes. Yes. Most of us drink beer. Yes. but we've never thought about trying to get a worthwhile charitable cause into the mix when planning this thing. This year I'm changing that by trying to help out our local bike coop with a little extra cash.... Here's the skinny.....

via Idris


This summer The 816 Bicycle Collective is launching a crowd funding campaign (AUGUST 14th) through to raise funds for the completion of our new building. As an organization, The 816 Bicycle Collective has out grown its current space in terms of capacity and flexibility of programming. Two years ago The 816 bought 3 commercial buildings on 1 parcel at the corner of 31st and Cherry. The 816 owns the buildings out right and have worked tirelessly for the last two years bringing them back to life. We have worked with an awesome contractor for the last year to put together a comprehensive bid to open our doors to the public in Spring of 2014 and prime our adjacent leasable spaces. Our funding goal is $82,816.00, which is perhaps a tenth of the cost this bid would be with most contractors. We need your help to ensure that our goals become a reality. With our own space, our programming can expand to encompass the diverse needs of our community and address the transportation inequity issues many Kansas Citians face.  

All donations, which are tax deductible, collected throughout the campaign will go to the continued rehabilitation of our new space. Specifically, the money will provide 3 new roofs, a new electrical service, reconnection of our plumbing infrastructure, weather proofing the exterior walls, windows, doors, and roofs. In addition, these funds will pay for the rough end completion of the interior spaces, bringing them to a leasable stage. Having below market leasable space will help us sustainably collect capital to fuel our programming, staff, and advocacy work.

For the Pub N’ Pedal, we envision a checkpoint where we host the greatest exploit of capitalism and a tribute to our political theatre; BUYING THE RACE!!! The twist is that all proceeds of this dastardly undemocratic bid will benefit Kansas City’s most honest and true not-for-profit; The 816 Bicycle Collective. Essentially every dollar, or increment of dollars, (somewhere between $1 and $5) donated at the checkpoint from an individual on a team, will net that team an additional point towards the race!!!! The donations will be made live on the website and close out the campaign at 9:00pm!!!

So there you have it. We've finally got our big kid pants on and trying to do some good for the community. Thought this day would never come....

See y'all in September.
uNKy joins

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Pub N Pedal: Year 7

You knew I'd eventually get around to updating this thing.

Finally that time of the year has come....


7 Years of Pub N' Pedal. Thanks to you all it has been named one of KC's Best bicycle events. I can't thank you all enough for all the good times and blurry memories and look forward to many more to come.

Get yourself a team of 1-4 people, 1 digital camera per team, locks, helmet, money, etc. Basically anything you'd need for a long night of drunken debauchery.

Registration starts at 5pm
Race starts at 6ish

Location: Corner of Westport Rd & Main St ( in the old Osco Drug parking lot) KCMO

(that's right, we charge nothing for you to ride around with us so you can use the extra money on tasty beverages)

Year 7 we've have some new things in the mix. New bars, old bars, food at the end? what?! 


Ordering 50 shirts. Men's and women's sizes. Limited availability. $20 gets a shirt and cup at Buzzard Beach (still $20 regardless if you don't want the cup). If you want a cup at the final bar for the keg (about an hours worth of beer) its $5. Please note you are not obligated to buy a shirt or a cup. This race is free to enter participate, or just hang out. Can't wait to see you all in September. Hit me up here or email me at if you have any questions


You are not required to drink on this ride. Nothing on the manifest obligates you to be imbiding or inebriated at any point.You are, however, traveling through town and walking into some of best dives places in kc if you feel you must indulge....

Thank you to Boulevard Beer this year for signing up as our first official sponsor. We are proud to have our hometown brewery involved with us and hope you show them much love...

We are also happy to introduce the KC Beard and Moustache Club in the mix

Still on the hunt for sponsors and will get them up here as people join up.

Looking forward to seeing your all your faces in Sept. Keep the rubber side down till then

uNKy jOIns

Monday, March 18, 2013

Rim Race Nationals

KC Sprints will be hosting a 4 part summer race series starting in June and ending in September. The first of the 4 events is the RIM RACE NATIONALS! Event will be on Saturday, June 15th.

We will be meeting at the Scout in Penn Valley Park. There is a parking lot next to it by the skatepark if you are driving in.

There are 2 parts to this event. First off we will be having a standard style scavenger hunt. You will receive a manifest of locations or objects find around the city Race will last approx 2 hours. End point will be back at Penn Valley park to start the rim racing. Bikes with tires and tubes encouraged.

On for the real reason we are gathering.... After the scavenger hunt we will be racing junker bikes. By "junker" I mean bikes without tires and tubes.. Thus the "Rim" part of the event. The rim event will be held entirely in the confines of Penn Valley park. There will be a drag race, trackstand comp, skid contest, and last man standing circle loop.

Please note that rim bikes will be subjected to extreme abuse and it is not recommended you ride something you really care for. Some bikes will be provided but bringing your own steed is encouraged (and more fun in my opinion)

We just added BikeWalkKC as a sponsor as well. Mark your calenders and we hope to see you out.

More information on the other 3 events to come shortly

uNKy jOIns

Monday, February 18, 2013

PNP for the Win!!

Thanks to all the participants and readers from the Pitch, Pub N Pedal was named one of the Best Beer Crawls in Kansas City. (3rd to be exact, but who's counting)

I received this handy dandy plaque over the weekend and thought I'd share with you fine folks..

I hung it in my most favoritest spot to hang things...

Once again big THANK YOU to everyone. I'll be posting the date for PNP 7 in the next few weeks so keep an eye out.

Hugs and pinches
uNKy jOIns